The habitless habit

Here I am , Staring into the dawn, another one of those sleepless nights for this dreaming insomniac.

A doorbell at 1:00. and lol, it aint ghosts. (Sorry to disappoint).
Two stray souls who walked all the way from Kaloor to kakkanad covering I guess could be like 10 km. Not because they dint get the bus or they were out of cash, guess its just a remembrance for the primitive past, a homage perhaps. Let's give around of applause for Sudheer Menon and Arun Devis for doing this amazing feat, or in my words, quiet fruitless and unnecessary exercise. Hehe..

Then the usual philo stuff, and there was this particular topics about people who always follow a definite pattern in life, the things they do, the time they wake up, the time they sleep, clockwork. Any change in the pattern would make them all restless and stuff.

But when looked upon our life, Arun gave me this thought that the only habit in our life we had is that its habitless.
The habitless habits... I just thought I will rant about this. But what about this, I dont know. Again I guess this can be equated to the mystery prime numbers are (ah not again right) .

I mean what should be the prior focus here...

Should it be the insomniac me and my habit less habits. I mean even that's some kind of habits right? Or should it be the tireless walkers paying tribute to our stone age ancestors?
should it be the patterned people, leading a mechanical life with patterns, in this patternless life?
or maybe I don't want to focus on anything, I just wanted to put this memory here in blogger.

I could end like a Martin Scorsese style asking "Which would be worse - to live as a monster, or to die as a good man? ".

The answer to these questions would not help us in anyway, because life can be lived in parallel,
we may travel in different lanes of life , yet we could all be in the same sphere of life. I guess that's the beauty of it.

So coming back to the header, I guess patterned or habit less life, doesn't really makes much difference. Because we all are traveling the parallel lanes of the same big wide road life is, it takes us more or less the same kind of places,
I mean unless you take opposite or more like diverging lanes...

I guess its not just with habits, but with life itself, most of the paths we take take us to the same kind of places, like happiness and peace.(again unless u take opposite ways)

I don't know if its like that, I have no way to know, but if it aint like that, I could just pray let it be like that, let everyone of us find bliss in his or her own way....

Goodnight and god bless...

The prime numbered life...

Life, the mystery of mysteries.
I always thought life can be described in umpteen number of ways...
Life is crazy,
Life is simple,
Life is tough,
Life is a roller coaster,
Also you would have heard the popular rant, Life is a bitch... lol,

but here goes a paragraph from the book.. "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon.". - The book is about a kid with autism goes in search of the murderer of the Dog that died in the neighborhood, his mannerisms and the way he see's things...

This excerpt is something that WOW ed me. one of the best writings that simplifies the explanation of LIFE. And I guess this is as good as it gets, i.e explaining how some things cant be explained. I don't think there would be a better way to do this...
Here goes...
"
"Chapters in books are usually given the cardinal numbers 1,2,3,4,5,6 and so on But I have decided to give my chapters prime numbers 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13 and so on because I like prime numbers.

This is how you work out what prime numbers are. First you write down all the positive whole number in the world. Then take away all the numbers that are multiple of 2. Then you take away all the number that are multiples of 3. Then you take away all the that are multiples of 4 and 5 and 6 and 7 and so on. The numbers that are left are the prime numbers.


The rule for working out prime numbers is really simple, but no one has ever worked out a simple formula for telling you whether a very big number is a prime number or what the next one will be. If a number is really, really big, it can take a computer years to work out whether it is a prime number.


Prime numbers are useful for writing codes and in America they are classed as Military Material and if you find one over 100 digits long you have to tell the CIA and they buy it off you for $10, 000. But it would not be a very good way of making a living.

Prime numbers are what is left when you have taken all the patterns away. I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logical but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them."

Curtain falls....
My Rants

Clap Clap Mr Haddon!

and no matter what happens, we all are and always will be these pattern less prime numbers living on trying hard to make out the patterns that doesn't exist...

Why the ink should flow? or the Pixels I say.

This is why I consider I should be writing. Or maybe not just me, but the whole lot for whom writing is something....

For those of ya all who have seen "Zindagi na milegi dubara" remember when Katrina says Deep Sea Diving is like meditation for her, its the same with me, writing...
it comes from a source within, a source that's true and pure, maybe thats what we call as the soul, the embodiment of ourselves,

When I write, I think clear , not just about what I write, but everything else that's happening.
My mind normally is in 7 places in parallel, but when I write all 7 becomes one, not like the horcruxes of Voldemort but more like Po, the Kung fu Panda's quest for Inner Peace :)

I come across a peaceful bliss, a whim of blessed solitude I must say. Also this keeps me focused, keeps both feet on the ground.

It makes me stay in touch with who I am always, that blessed glow that lightens up the whole human in me~

Phew~! Enough of this loada Philo, so what I wanted to bring out was every Lazy ass out there (no offence , coz even Im involved.) who can jot down something , to do it...

So here we go again :)

Alas~! The Dream ripens :)

Okay the prologue...

I always wanted to be an intense blogger , but always thought , I will start to be one when I get a regular internet connection.
( P.S I never had one since school. Coz I dint wanted another nitwit in my long list of time wasting skills I had procured and sharpened over time )

But now I took one (the need arised), And I thought I will atleast write one entry to pacify myself and the promises I always make with the lazy part of me. In this case its being a blogger.

I think I should write one separate entry to why I think I should be writing itself.

So to the blogger I may never become (too much apathy and procastination)!!

Let me write in detail about abstract things,
let me write poems, where each words are like breezes that the butterfly loves to be in,
let me write about shades of black and white,
about people being judgmental or about people itself,
about football, about friendship...
about life itself...

and let something of the above come true, I mean how many times should one disappoint oneself.

But let the toast be to the blogger that I never may happen to be :D

and let this break one of my signature sayings "monotony in its grave peril" :D
So here I go....

Levitate

When I see a church filled with people a feeling of being lost rises in me, I wish i could have been a part of them, I miss believing with innocence and singing to the hymns. I wish I could be one among them again, but will I be? I dont knw...

I am in a battle with myself, I dont wanna establish my theories or wanna get into debates with some another about faith. I am in a battle with myself.

But one thing I know is that in time of deep despair or fear I have lost my ally.

Im stuck between two beliefs and wish I could levitate and see both much clearer from above and make up my mind....

Religious Hypnosis

Im not an athiest, I dont knw what to tell them. I can say im a believer only because I was told to believe, right from the start of my life, but another reason is that I pray when I get scared and hopeless.

Damn that movie! After watching "Man From Earth" and the theory about Christ in it is much more believable. The theory is that Christ was just a human like everyone else but gifted with grace elegance and Knowledge. The church wanted to stamp their superiority so later all this story about the Son of God and the rest was made up.

I have also read the same about Hindu Gods, Krishna and co, they were too normal kings, but gifted in warcraft and diplomacy.

Somehow these versions are believable due to their appalling simplicity.

Also in this book I have read "Conversations with God", its being said the life around us, thats GOD!!

So all this appeals to my simple sense . I agree Religion is essential to create a good morale in the society. But I kinda think the religious gurus have gone overboard with things.

When I pray now its mostly out of habit and now im confused of what to do.

but I guess in the end nobody can prove or disprove anything and its always better to stick with the crowd because else you are not going to be labeled brave and revolutionary, but sick and insane, thats how it was always been.

Ending this with one of my fav quote...

"Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones."
— Marcus Aurelius

a short breath...the shallow monotony!

I have been feeling riddled in the maze of monotony, which in my own lines I would quote as
"Monotony in its grave peril!!"
"The meloncholic shallow emotion"
And more than depressed I was, in dire need of a getaway, but too tangled in these cobwebs.....

Okay I know, enough of philo, Im just tired of not having any thing other than my work to cheer me up, and the routine stuff, Office-Flat-Office-Flat!
Effin tired!

(But before things get worse let me you, I love what I have in my office alrigh, its fun to be in) Okay here goes

Just now I got out of office, went had food, and on my way to flat I thought what the heck am i gonna do there, Yes I knw, Kings Speech and Colin Firth awaits me, But they will too another day, So at 9 pm I came back to office, Talk about not having a life~~!!

Wish I could have gone somewhere you know, like a getaway, ride through a countryside for days stopping at the small towns in the way, or just go away and live in some mountains with lotsa books...mm...

the basic problem what I feel is there is nothing to look forwards to at the end of the day, all you see is tomorrow with the same routine....

a getaway is all I want,
dont wanna quit but merely a breath of the pristine,
blue skies n green should be the pastures,
with love amidst or beside,
a breath of purity, simplicity...
just a short breath...